• Selina Kyle

21 Funny Quotes to Lighten Up Your Mood

It is universally accepted fact that laughter is the way to go to reduce stress and improve longevity. So take a small break from your stressful IT job or whichever field you are in and have a small dose of daily laughter from these funny quotes.



As a disclaimer, none of these quotes are mine and simply found them online. I grouped the ones that I thought were funny. The actual credit for these quotes goes to the original person who came up with them.


Knowledge is like underwear. It's useful to have it but not necessary to show it off.

Sometimes I wonder if all this is happening because I didn't forward that email to 10 people.

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won't feel like you are alone anymore.

Some people are judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.


I don't care what people think of me. Mosquitos find me attractive.

Why can't you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.


Always remember that you are absolutely unique just like everyone else.

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Laziness is nothing more than a habit of resting before you get tired.

Progress is man's ability to complicate simplicity.


Christopher Columbus, as everyone knows, is honored by posterity because he was the last to discover America.

If you want to be thought a liar, always tell the truth.

I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back.


I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.

I went window shopping today! I bought four windows.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

He was like a cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow.


People are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

Conversation would be vastly improved by the constant use of four simple words: I do not know.

We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect.
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